Forgiveness

Remember When

Remember when.. 

You threw me into the fire, added logs and turned away?

Embers within me turned to ash, and I escalated in disdain.

I burned with confusion and bitterness; I felt disheartened and in pain.  

But it was I who failed you, and chose this... by the way.

I set you up for failure and raised you up too high.

What else could you do but only come down from the sky?

You finally did.. and perhaps I expected you to. 

And you let me down unceremoniously. And for that, I despised you. 

I hated the pretense. The indifference. My fragility. The blame.

I was disillusioned by your engraved statue, and the way you played the game.

This inner quake grew restless, eventually crumbling your pillar into dust.

But my eyes beheld my own construction- and in that, I could no longer trust.



You see, my blurry vision kept me from seeing you whole.

But you became my mirror, my shadow in lack and in control.

Still my monument crumbles, falling away into the sand

to remind me that to start with- I never built on solid land.

What you weren't aware of my friend- which I have come to know quite well,

Is that you were the key to heaven, disguised as gateway to hell.

Remember, our written script played out just as it ought- 

with you as my king, and you moved just as I taught.

I beg of you, dear friend- leave no room for much despair-

Things are ever changing, but never beyond repair.

There's no real failing- so let's lock up old baggage, sparing no corner for shame

Because without you dear fellow, I could not have known love

 ..and that love chooses again. 

- the inner canvas

The poem above was inspired by a personal friendship. It simply embarks upon the emotional process I experienced as a result of giving my power away: making kings of others to project my own feelings of unworthiness. The natural resolution of dealing with my emotions led to the illumination of my own miscreations (constructing images instead of seeing the truth). In the end however.. all illusions lead back to love.

Reactions are sparked within us when we have expectations on another, whether they act in accordance or in discord with those expectations. We may have constructed an image of them in our own minds- who they are and how they should think and behave- without truly giving them the freedom to find their own way to love. Allowing the process of forgiveness to ensue may challenge our own constructs, although it naturally casts light on the role we played (our scripts) in our own pain. We can always choose to respond from our true nature, being love.